Quill, Emmett and Edward's fun adventures
by Alice Cullen444
Summary: Follow Quill, Edward and Emmett in a series of one shots that explores their funny mishaps. Laugh at Emmett's stupidity, Quill's silly arguments and Edward's annoyed self.Rated T for mild language. Based in Eclipse. Please read and revie:


I was running through the woods in wolf- form on my patrol. Embry was on shift with me and he was droning on about how Jake had kicked his ass at Halo.

Inwardly I chuckled- the two boys got overly competitive when it came to XBOX games. I of course did too- but I didn't get so rattle up that I started through objects at my fellow gamers and kiss the controller when they win. And yes that is actually what they do.

_Shut up Quill he's a cheater. _ Embry's voice grumbled in my head.

I rolled my eyes and sniggered. _That's always the excuse when you loos. _

_But it's true. _ He whined.

_Whatever pup- keep your eyes on the lookout. _I shook my wolf head and then let out a low chuckle when he ran right into a tree.

_Ow. _He muttered as he rapidly shook his head.

_Listen next time. _I warned, lurching forward again, into a sprint.

_You aren't much better- Remember that time with Claire when you weren't looking and instead of sitting her on the slide, you through her in a mucky puddle? _

Wow. He really knows how to make me feel guilty. Thinking about that day with Claire- it had gone so well until that incident. We played in the park- she swung on the kiddie swing (enabling me to reproduce with her in the future in the process), before bouncing on the trampoline and finally she had wanted to go on the slide. As I lifted her up to get on I thought I had heard Sam calling me and looked away... when I accidently missed the slide and she landed on her butt.

After that she had burst out into hysterics, begging me to take her home. I felt so bad that I promised her I would do anything to make it up to her. And she of course took that to her advantage- I ended up in a pink fairy costume, with badly done make-up and was pushed out into the wilderness where my wolf pack were standing taking pictures and laughing in amusement.

_Embry. Too far. You don't know how it feels. _

_Yes I do. I can feel it when you're in your wolf form. Admit. It was funny. _He snickered.

_It was embarrassing. You're so lucky you don't have an imprint. _I muttered.

_I did imprint. _He stated, making me stop in my tracks and my mouth to hang open.

_What? Who? When?_ All the question came bounding out of my mouth.

_On harry potter when I visited Hogwarts on a school trip- yeah I'm apparently destined to be gay. _He grinned goofily.

Ugh, if he and I were not in wolf form, I'd hit him over the head. He thinks he is funny when really he is just annoying.

_I can be funny! _He complained.

_Tell me a joke. _

_Knock, knock! _Oh god no...

_Really? Out of everything you're going with this... _These are the worst jokes known to mankind!

_Just answer! _ He snapped

_Fine... who's there? _

_Witch. _

_Witch who? _

_Which one do you want it to be? Ha-ha get it? _He was actually laughing at this joke?

_Yes. Ha-ha-ha. It's so funny it hurts. _What did I say? He really had no sense of humour.

_You put me under pressure. _He stated. Yes I really put him under pressure.

_What-ever let's just concentrate._ I sighed, resuming my sprint.

_Fine. This is boring. Want to race? _

_Yeah. Anything to stop me from killing your annoying ass. _I huffed.

_Yeah well, you are so much more annoying _He growled.

_Okay are we going to race or fight? _I asked, already bored of arguing with him.

_I'd rather race than save my breath on you. _He grinned proudly.

_Oh. Ouch. It hurts me so badly. _I faked hurt.

_Anyways... where are you? _He asked me and I showed him a picture of a surrounding forest and before I knew it I could see images of the forest flying past him as he sprinted over to me. He made it over to me in about two minutes.

_Okay so where are we racing? _I asked him.

_Back to Sam's? I mean we've only got five minutes left... _

_Sure. _I sighed and turned around to face the direction of Sam's house- I had patrolled this way so much I knew it like the back of my hand.

_Okay get ready._ He stated as we both focused out attention to the road ahead.

_Get set. _I he went on and we got into our starting passions.

_GO BANANA'S! _I started off before realising what he said grumbled.

_Seriously? Cut the crap and get on with it. I want to get back to see Claire. She's heading home tomorrow. _I grimaced. I'd miss her too much, though she'd be back in a week. It would only be for the day. Stupid distances.

_Aw poor little Quill won't be able to see his imprint for a whole week. Isn't that such a shame? _Embry made pouty faces and I narrowed my eyes at him, before huffing and facing the forest again.

_Yes it is now bloody well get on with the race. _I growled.

_Alright grumpy! _ Embry rolled his eyes before sitting back in his ready position as I did the same.

_Get set. _ He stated and paused before shouting _GO! _

We bounded off in the direction of Sam's house, Embry slight in front. I growled in frustration and picked up my pace, speeding past Embry. The trees whipped past me and I looked behind me to see where Embry was. He was falling behind.

As I looked back, I knocked into a tree and my butt landed on something spiky and jagged. I yelped in pain and shot straight back up, squishing something under my foot.

I looked under my butt to see a porcupine scrambling away. I then looked under my paw to see a dead squirrel.

Oh shit.

_Bye Quill. _ Embry chuckles and zoomed off.

I didn't care- all I cared about was the fact that the porcupine- with the help of me- was a squirrel murderer.

I wander if you got detectives that investigated squirrel murders?

If there wasn't that would be my future job- Quill the squirrel detective.

_I WIN!_ Embry hollered in my head.

_Whatever. A porcupine stabbed my butt and murdered a squirrel. _

_Um okay... _Was the last thing Embry said before phasing back to his human form.

I turned back to the porcupine and sauntered over to it. And yes _it_. This murderous creature does not deserve a name.

The stupid thing kept walking right until it hit my foot. I stuck my nose in its face and shouted at it.

"DO YOU THINK IT IS NICE TO KILL AN INNOCENT SQUIRREL? AND DON'T TELL ME THAT IT WAS BULLYING YOU BECAUSE THAT IS NO EXCUSE!" My words, of course, came out as a raucous of barking.

The brainless thing just stood there and stared at me like he was high on drugs, eyes lazy and only blinking two times before turning around and walking away.

"Yeah just walk away you psychotic animal!" I barked out.

Sighing, and at the same time realising I had something sticking out my backside, I walked back in the direction of Sam's. That fucking psycho had stabbed me. More reason to lock it up.

The pain in the back of my said was stinging like hell but I kept running until I entered Sam's front yard, which thankfully was in the middle of the woods, to see that practically the whole pack, including Claire, Emily and Kim were standing outside, waiting for my arrival obviously since they burst out laughing.

"This will go down in history!" Jacob bellowed as his tall body curled over in laughter.

I growled. He thought this was funny? I'll give him funny.

Everyone was too busy laughing to notice that I had turned my back to them, my bump stuck in the air, tail up and the needles on show.

I started walking backwards in the direction of Jacob, who was still bent over with laughter. I stuck my bum higher in the air. I had a huge wolfy grin on my face as I jabbed Jacob in the face with the needle. And just to rub it in his face- ha-ha-ha get it? How funny am I?- I waggled my butt.

He let out a girly scream- yes a girly scream, I'm seriously doubting how many man cards he has left- and jumped backwards, wiping his face with his hands.

"Dude what the fuck was that for?" Did he really expect me to answer when I was a giant mutt?

Is shrugged my wolfy shoulders before running back in the direction of the forest. Once I was in cover, I phased back into my human form and grabbed a pair of shorts which I had hidden in the forest for when I was in encase of an emergency like now. I changed into them after pulling the needles out- which did sting a little bit.

I walked back to Sam's and the only people there were Paul, Sam and Embry.

"Where's Claire?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"She had to go home." Sam shrugged, trying to hold back a snigger.

"WHAT? SEE WHAT YOU DID? YOU IDIOTIC... BOOBIE BRAIN!" I roared at Embry, who just stood there laughing in amusement.

"Dude! You were the one that was whining over a squirrel murder!"

"Yeah!" Paul agreed, then said in a mocking tone, "Oh the poor squirrel! That porcupine is a squirrel murderer! Boohoo!"

I growled. "Shut-up before I become a dog murderer."

With that I walked inside with the sound of laughter.

That's when I realised I technically told them that I would kill myself. Great. I admitted I was suicidal. Even though I am not.

**(hey guys. This is the first one shot series I have done so please no bad comments- if you don't like it don't read it or bother reviewing. I do welcome constructive criticism however. And please do review and add to favourites if you like it. Oh I almost forgot, next chapter will be an Emmett one shot :-)) **


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